May 2011
90 posts
“Days later, the bells of Philadelphia rang during the public reading of the...”
– SarahPAC - Sarah Palin’s Official PAC
I don’t think she understands how the Liberty Bell works. They tried to ring it. It cracked. The end.
“Was this movie written by a Microsoft Word find replace hotkey?”
– The Videogum Movie Club: The Hangover Part II | Videogum
"How exciting to be present at the birth of a new...
I’m scared that I smell like popcorn without having been exposed to any.
Big news
I did NOT accidentally leave my air conditioning on over the weekend.
Drugs are my anti-drug
Chris: why, why, why is this a thing that you feel you need to say
Leah: oh, i've learned to say my paranoias out loud so that people can refute them rather than letting them sit inside me and fester with no reality check
Chris: Leah, there's quite a bit of value in life to letting certain things go -- you know this, I'm sure
Leah: this is me AFTER 2 xanax, chris
Only YOU
(“You” meaning me) have the power to make awkward emails even more awkward by sending them to the wrong person — maybe even someone in the intended recipient’s family.
Also, you may have embarked on a long-weekend away from the apartment having opened a window and left the air conditioning on. You won’t even find out until tomorrow.
There is a special place in...
skybarn:
Summer movies are going to be escapist and sequels/reboots/remakes have been happening for centuries. Shakespeare was at least the 4th person to tell the story of Romeo and Juliet. Proust wrote 7 sequels. Stop with the tongue clucking at the decline of the West.
But in Russian lit the sequels were all direct-to-video.
Thing for which suburbia is excellent
A long walk with your dog.
True Life Casting →
TRUE LIFE: I’M A VICTIM OF DIGITAL HATE Are you gay, black, Muslim, or a member of another minority group and get made fun of online because of who you are? Have people used racist, homophobic, or other discriminatory terms in reference to you online? Do people send you cruel texts or messages about your ethnicity, religion, or sexuality? Do people make fun of how you look because of your...
One more post on Applebees
The restaurant is basically the desexed version of Friday’s. The flair is a little more sedate, the entrees have a little less flavor, and you get the impression that Guy Fieri would be a little too controversial a spokesman for them.
Applebees: For when you’re worried Friday’s might make you go a little too crazy.
But you can fight it. And you can win.
The takeaway from this is that we all come from suburbia, and that at some level, it’s a part of all of us.
Suburban Chain Restaurant Hierarchy
Jean: OH, lest we forget...
Jean: OUTBACK
Jean: That just reminded me, sorry
Jean: That's the king of chains down South, let me tell you
Leah: oh man
Leah: THAT IS TOO RICH FOR MY PARENTS
Jean: LOL
Leah: THAT IS LIKE EATING AT THE FOUR SEASONS
:(
Leah: applebees is just the saddest thing
Leah: i don't know why
Leah: but it's the saddest of all the chain restaurants
Jean: IT IS!
Leah: maybe it's because i heard [colleague] that one time say to a girl "do you like applebees?" as a pickup line
Jean: It's not even... funny. Like the Olive Garden or Chili's
Leah: but maybe it's just because it's sad
Jean: Yes, and the food there is by far the worst too
Jean: At least Chili's has texmexx
Leah: and olive garden has hospitaliano
“I’m gonna wear my shorts and I’m gonna walk around like an...”
– I’ll Wear Shorts If I Goddamn Want To - Deadspin
I don’t wear shorts, and I’m not a man, but goddamn if this doesn’t make me want to do so and be one.
This is how it starts
Leah: also, bill paxton looks like he's had about 50 facelifts
Leah: err
Leah: bill pullman
Leah: FUCK
“Practically have a heart attack when both your Gmail and Facebook tabs in Google...”
– Staring At Facebook All Day « Thought Catalog
Welcome to my day.
Huh
I guess no one even thinks to allege voter fraud in districts that have no brown people or college kids?
“Historical first post-birth poop”
– Someone on Facebook describing the adorableness of her fetus’s burgeoning meconium and what it means for the future.
2 tags
“One of Jane Corwin’s many problems was that she did not articulate a strong...”
– NY-26: A Referendum, But Not on Medicare - By Chris Chocola - The Corner - National Review Online
LOL, you guys. LOL.
Questions? →
"Relationship Limbo: The Breakup That Hasn't... →
This is really wonderful, Joe.
“Is there one type of bagel you’d like to see more of, even if it meant...”
– Oh, work surveys…
“It’s like… a mall store.”
– How else would one describe Ritz Camera?
“Andrew and I walked out of the theater and used the restroom. On the way back to...”
– My First NC-17 Experience « Thought Catalog
This is the only appropriate reaction to have to The Dreamers.
“Police are searching for a man who escaped from a Pennsylvania hospital by...”
– Prisoner Escapes By Leaping From Hospital Helipad
It’s like a regular Nic Cage film in PA.
1 tag
ninety9:
Isn’t it strange there are so many women who want men to do the sex to them and so many men who want to do the sex, but yet this massive unmet need is not filled [groan]?
From each according to his ability, to each according to his need?
"The boys all look like they're three years old,...
That’s my uncle had to say about the kids at my cousin’s bar mitzvah. One of those girls complimented me on my dress. The insecure middle schooler inside of me thought Is she making fun of me?!?!?!?!?!?
Sometimes I think I could eat only hard boiled eggs and grapefruit — because I LOVE both of those things — but then I remember that that was the diet that drove Ellen Burstyn crazy in Requiem for a Dream and I think better of it.
